What happened during the three year time skip
by NUMA-WAFFLE
Summary: What happened during the three year time skip, what Jiraiya taught Naruto during the three years, AND WHAT DID NARUTO LEARN ABOUT HIS FAMILY...
1. Chapter 1

The true story of what happened during the time skip, this is 100 percent TRUE, I forced Masashi Kishimoto to make it this way (in my mind) , the story is true all you must do is BELIVE IT. 

This is 100 percent fictional, and in no way true, unless it is, your choice. If you think I made all of this up, your right, so you win a sudden urge to review. If you thaught it was true then you get a sudden urge to review and give me money. P.S This is FanFiction as in I am a fan, so I do not own thr rights to any character in this story.

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In 3 years, chapter 1 the 1st year.

"Hey Ero-sennin what are you going to teach me?"(Belive it!)

"Shhhh, I'm trying to get a date with that woman over there."

"That's a man."(Belive it!)

"Next to him, the one how is holding hands with the man, oh never mind."

"So what are you going to teach me?"(Dattebayo!)

"Make seven clones, and then all of you must store chakra in your elbows."

"Finally, what will this let me do Ero-sennin, Ero-sennin where are you?"(Dattebayo!)

One week later.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my hotel room?"

"Ero-sennin you're training me, Naruto, so that I can beat Sasuke, the one who ran away with Orochimaru to beat his brother."(Belive it!)

"Oh and how is the training going?"

"You haven't taught me anything!"(Belive it!)

"Are you sure?"

"Train me or I will call Tsunade."(Dattebayo!)

"NO-NO-ok store Chakara in your elbows and then-"

"No I'm not falling for that again."(Dattebayo!)

"Falling for what, oh, so you don't want to do this."

(Does a super-mega-ultimate-death move, one that could kill the super Sasuke, even after the three years of training)

"Naruto now that I have shown you this new technique you will have to pay for the repairs to the town-bye." (POOF)

"What I don't have the money to buy food, how am I going to fix the town?"(Belive it!)

A few minutes later

"Tajyuu Kage-Bunshin."(Belive it.)

8 months later.

"I'm finally done, now please can I leave."(Dattebayo!)

"No not yet."

"Why the town has been fixed."(Dattebayo!)

"Well I felt sorry for making you rebuild the town twice the size, so here is some food for the road. Now get out."

"WHAT you made me make the town bigger. That's not nice, I'm only a small boy, and you can't do that."(Belive it!)

"Naruto hurry up I'm leaving, if you want to save Sasuke hurry up."

The end of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

This is what happened in the second year of the time jump, to Shippuden.

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Chapter 2 the second year

The second year was much like that of the first, Jiraiya with some girls, Naruto training on his own, Jiraiya beaten up by said girls, Jiraiya finding new girls, the cycle went on. When Jiraiya finally decided to teach Naruto anything it was stuff he already knew: Chakra control and using weapons.

"Can't you teach me something useful?"

"In time you will realize that I have been teaching you the whole time."

Naruto had been with Jiraiya for 1 year and 11 months, nothing important had happened.

He had gotten taller, stronger, and faster and got new clothes.

One week after they had found a hidden village, Jiraiya had decided to do something for Naruto; he was going to teach him how to dispel Genjutsu.

"YOU ALREADY TAUGHT ME THAT! Teach me a new technique."

"Okay, how about this…" He started to do one handed hand-seals, then put his free hand on a tree, it turned into a frog.

"So what's amazing about that?"

"Look what happens when I do that to a shadow clone. Would you supple three, all in a line."

"Ok but it just seems boring, I mean turning things into frog statues, they will have to be turned back, and it's just a transformation."

"Oh is it, well maybe you would offer yourself as a test subject."

"Fine, I will just dispel it."

He then turned all four into frogs.

"See Naruto it's not just a simple technique. Now try being in your normal form."

Several minutes later, "I can't do it, not even Fluffy's Chakra combined with mine has any effect."

"You should not call him that, he is very dangerous."

"What's the worst thing he can do to me; he can only get his power back when I'm dead."

Suddenly Naruto's left hand gets covered in the fox's cloak, rips a hole in Jiraiya's backpack; right were Naruto had hid the ramen.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you evil fox, I hate you so much."

"**I have heard that so many times, but it still makes me happy every time I hear it."**

"I didn't know you could speak through Naruto."

"I hate you, take this!" he then hit himself in the stomach, "Ouch, now look what you made me do."

"**I am still powerful HAHAHAHA!"**

"No not really Kyuubi, all you did was make an idiotic, hyper-active boy hit himself, it's not that hard."

"Yeah, hey that's not nice."

"Anyway moving on, try and cancel your frog clones."

"I already tried that, it does not work."

"Try and tell them what to do."

"Everyone line up."

"See it turns them into real frogs, only I can undo it."

"Ok that's cool, can you teach it to me?"

"NO, only when you have become as powerful and as successful with the ladies as I am, will you be able to do this."

"You mean perverted. Well can you teach me something new; like a technique that could save me from the Akatsuki."

"I could, but my 'girl-who-hasn't-had-the-honor-of-dating-me-yet-senses', are tingling."

"That does not even exist."

"Oh really, when you reach a level of my greatness, and become so talented at getting a date as I am, you too will have this skill."

"How many of the girls that you have dated have you ever dated again, or even wanted to be seen with you, and how many of them have to pay for the food?"  
"Do you want to learn a new technique or not?"

"Yes I've been saying that ever since we started this journey."

"I will teach you something next month, now I'm going to date that sexy lady over there, and then all her friends and then their friends, and then I will meet you in the town. Bye Naruto."

"Hey get back here, you have all my money, why do you always do that?"

Naruto thought about his situation: traveling around with a perverted old man, who steals him money, leaves him alone for weeks at a time. The only way it could have been worse was if Jiraiya was a gay pedophile. Well from now on I will train myself, I may not gain new techniques but I can at least improve two of my techniques. I'll start with Harem and then clones, I don't think that my Rasengan can be improved. My Chakra is strong enough, so I must improve my attacking and speed. I should find food first.

"Cuddles, do you know what plants I can eat?"

"**I'm a giant fox demon, I eat people. Do you really think I know what plants to eat? And don't call me 'Fluffy', I am a majestic demon, you should show me some respect. And I have many hidden powers, some that could make you a GODLIKE KING amongst all the weak mortals, I can even make you seven thousand times stronger than any other shinobi who has or will ever exist."**

"Ok how you'd do that?"

"**Well first you get the pervert drunk, then use the new Harem jutsu, and ask him to remove the seal. Once that is done, we must fuse our bodies together, and then all will fear use."**

"But I want people to like me; I want to be a respected Hokage, if they are all afraid how can I complete my dream?"

"**Well the world doesn't work like that; look at me I'm stuck in this horrible body!"**

"What's wrong with my body?"

"**You are fit, but you mainly gorge yourself on ramen, that is not healthy."**

"Fine, do you know how to catch a cow?"

"**No, but I do know that squashing them is fun."**

"3…2…1…PUSH!"

(Squishy crushing noise here)

"Wow Snuggles was right, and now we have food."

"No I have food." Poof "I should heat this up."

(Starts doing the hand seals for a random fire technique.)

"Oh right I can't do any fire techniques at all."

(Starts banging two rocks together.) "OUCH, MY PINKIE, MY OTHER PINKIE!"

"**MWAHAHA this is only slightly less fun than squishing people!"**

This goes on until his hands are so bruised and bloody that he can't hold the rocks anymore.

A couple days later, somewhere in a cold, dark forest, the sun was rising and most things were still sleeping.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, IT'S GONE! He took Sasukes' old forehead protector… Wait, it was in his bag…" FLASHBACK

"Naruto I'm going to borrow Sasukes' forehead protector, I have a friend who does tracking, but he's a bit paranoid, so I must go alone."

"As long as I can bring Sasuke back, it's fine."

Naruto remembered this and raced towards the next town, hoping that he could find Jiraiya…

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The end of this chapter is the starting point for a huge hidden mystery...

REVIEW PLEASE.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally, I can stop rewritting this chapter, I have redone this one so many times, I just went for this short ending. It has been making me go crazy, the enging was just not right or I went off on a random path so many times. AAAAAAAAAAARG, CRAZY!

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Chapter 3 the third year

Naruto spent most the first few weeks of the New Year trying to find Jiraiya, going from town to town, in every one it seemed like he just missed him by a few hours. The perverted sage had Sasukes headband, Naruto gave it to him because Jiraiya knew of a hunter who owed him a favor. He knew that Jiraiya would have to stop at every female in town before moving on, but he somehow always just missed Jiraiya by a few hours.

"Have you seen a white haired pervert, he's wearing a red suit and doesn't pay for anything?"  
"Oh you mean Jiraiya, he here this morning, but I haven't seen his since. Try the bath houses at the end of town."  
"Thanks."

He chased after his only clue. "If this is what it will be like for Sasuke then I will need to be faster. He must be somewhere around here. I must listen for the girls screaming. Scream, scream, he cannot resist."

-Screaming-  
"Found you Jiraiya! I need to find Sasuke, stop fooling around!"  
"Stop yelling and run!"  
"WHY!"  
"THE ANGRY MOB MIGHT BE A CLUE."  
"…Oh…" Turns around and gets trampled.

They run into a forest nearby and hid. After a few hours of creeping around and jumping at the sound of every twig breaking they set up camp.  
"What were you doing all of this time?"  
Jiraiya then explained to Naruto what happened to him over the past few weeks.  
I set off to find the hunter, I finally found him and he was dead. So I tried to find another but I gave up after I walked into a town filled with lots of women.

"WHAT!"  
"Well at least I was honest."  
"Kyuubi just made a very good point: We are faster than you when we work together. Now help me find Sasuke or you will regret it."  
"Well how about if I tell you about your family?"  
"Okay."  
Jiraiya uses his transparent technique to escape Naruto.  
"NO, I fell for that again."  
"HAHAHA, YOU REALLY ARE GULLIBLE."  
"Shut up. Hey you must know something about my parents' right?"  
"Um, I'm sleepy, goodnight."  
"But it's lunch time."  
"I said goodnight."  
"No, wake up."  
"Snore."  
"I said wake up!"  
"SNORE!"

Naruto proceeded to look for Jiraiya using his Harem no Jutsu.  
After a few seconds Jiraiya was latched onto Naruto, "Okay we will find Sasuke."

Naruto and Jiraiya spent the rest of the year going from town to town trying to find any leads on the Uchiha boy, but no one knew anything. Every time Naruto asked about his parents Jiraiya would change the subject quickly by telling Naruto that if he was quiet he would teach him a new technique, Naruto would always be quiet until they walked past a Ramen bar. Jiraiya would say that Naruto did not keep his promise and then refused to teach him anything.

Whenever Naruto asked Kyuubi he would block Naruto out by saying '"SNORE!"', much to Narutos' annoyance.  
"Hey Kyuubi if Shikaku was the embodiment of sand, what are you?"  
"How should I know, power, evil, ramen maybe, I don't know, now leave me alone."  
"I was just asking."  
"SNORE!"  
"Why are you so grumpy?"  
"Let's say that I just don't like the Uchiha clan."  
"Why?"  
"SNORE!"  
"You can't just tell me half of something and then stop!"  
"SNORE!"  
"Well I hate you!"  
"Yes, I can still instill fear."  
"Yes, I made you say something besides-"  
"SNORE!"  
"Shut up."

"Naruto you do know that you have been talking out loud this whole time, everyone can hear you."  
"Well it's his fault."  
"Naruto you can have one more bowl while I go to the bathroom."  
"Okay!"

Jiraiya snuck out the back and left Naruto with the bill again.  
Until they returned to Konoha the year was pretty much the same.

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Review please.


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